Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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