ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
