I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize