More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have aggressive nipples.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
