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there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
