her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
