Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize