I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
