What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
