Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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