The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
