In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
