I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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