Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
