god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
