My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
