Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
