I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
