i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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