should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
