Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
