I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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