Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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