the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
