oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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