some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
