Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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