Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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