OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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