You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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