none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
