Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
