i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
