you win again, gameday.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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