I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
