Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
