is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
