I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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