It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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