Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
