What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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