i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
