Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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