he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
