You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize