Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
