New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
