they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
