He asked me if I "almost moaned"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
