shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
