Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
