in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
