Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
sarcasm needs its own font
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
