No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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