guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
