he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
