I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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