I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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