He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
