I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
