We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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