so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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