I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
